January
2007
How Protective Should Parents Be?
Decisions like this have no right answer. I hate to say it but what one person says, another person will argue the exact opposite. So answering this question is purely a matter of opinion. My opinion is that you should protect them while they can’t protect themselves, but after that you should let them learn through exploratory trial and error. But the line that divides the time when they can’t protect themselves and when they can is very blurry, as it is dependent on the maturity of the child. I agree ENTIRELY with Silver Lining’spost on this same question. I think a lot of people know (not to over generalize) “those” types of people. The people who can’t make any decisions or make decisions that have serious consequences because they have never learned how to make decisions from the start. It’s entirely a judgement call by the parent as to when they let the child figure it out on their own and when they shield them from mistakes. Now i’m not talking about the big stuff like kids/teens trying drugs, smoking, or little kid’s running out in the street or putting their hand on a hot stove, because the consequences of those “explorations” are two permanent and serious to be an experience. What i’m talking about is stuff like should they let the kid learn that if they start their homework at 9:00 they will stay up late and be tired or should they tell them to start their home work at 7:00 so that doesn’t happen, or if they see their driving age child speeding should they put one of the many tracking devices avalible in the car and yell at them every time they speed or should they let them get a ticket and make them pay for it with their own money. To me (and I think most teenagers) parent’s yelling at me/arguing with me get’s no result. It’s when they use something that I am invested in back as a threat, then I start paying attention. When something of mine is at stake then the situation becomes different. I think the best teacher is your own mistakes, but in order to learn from them you must have a consequence that affects you directly, not someone else.
